How To Forgive Someone Who Hurt You - Happiness Vlog. How can we forgive someone after they've broken our trust? Watch this. XO
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Forgiveness in a relationship.
How can we forgive someone who has hurt us so deeply?
The thing is, how can we not forgive?
If we’ve decided to still be in a relationship with someone who has hurt us, if we’ve made a choice to stay on and continue to be with them… it has to be a fresh start. It’s so much harder than it sounds, but truly forgiving someone isn’t a favour we’re doing for the other person.
Emotionally, it feels like we’re letting the person off too easily if we just forgive them, but in reality, we’re letting ourselves off the hook. Why do we want to suffer even more by holding on to the anger and resentment? That every time we look at the person we feel this rage?
Sometimes, even when we want to continue to be in a relationship with someone who’s hurt us badly, we want them to suffer, to pay a penance for having done what they did. But whilst punishing someone may inflict pain on the person, it also takes a toll on our own mental and emotional health. And ultimately, it doesn’t help resolve problems in the relationship, it just makes it more and more fragile.
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean we allow them to treat us badly, and letting go isn’t giving permission for them to hurt us again.
Because logically, when there is a problem in our relationship, we have to be able to address it. To talk, to communicate, to be honest with our feelings and the time it would take to fully trust them again.
Letting go of the anger and resentment doesn’t mean that it will erase the hurt, but it will allow us to drive our present and our future whilst nothing can change the past.
Even when we’re in a committed relationship, it does pay to ask ourselves often if we want to be in it, if we want to be with this person. Because the answer helps us take responsibility for what we want, and it helps us move forward and be happy, always.
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